A Speck of Consciousness

Take a macro shot of your consciousness

Malcom Gladwell in his book Blink argues the case for listening to your gut, he explains that our subconscious makes a snap judgment within a blink of an eye when meeting a situation. We must be attuned to our subconscious to be better decision makers and thought leaders.

As a thought starts to surface from the subconscious into the conscious, as much as you intrinsically understand it, it can be difficult to express into words. As such, I am going to attempt to bring my thoughts from floating through the atmosphere of my brain to the surface.

Sandwiched in between the monumental book ends of this week’s parashah, the visit of the Malachim to Avraham Avinu and the saga of the Akeidah, we have the no less monumental story of the destruction of Sodom. 

To summarize the story: 

Hashem told Avraham that, due to their great evil, He was going to destroy Sodom, Amora, and their associated cities. Avraham extensively petitioned Hashem on their behalf while simultaneously probing Hashem to understand His justice. Ultimately, Avraham’s request was unsuccessful, and the angels were sent to obliterate the evil cities.

Before destroying the cities, the angels told Lot, Avraham’s nephew, of Hashem’s plan and offered him the opportunity to escape to the mountains before the cities’ impending destruction. The Angels then escorted Lot, his wife, and two daughters, out of Sodom. Lot’s wife, ignoring the instructions of the rescuing angels, looked back to see what was happening to her hometown. She was immediately swept up in the destruction and became a pillar of salt. The remaining survivors, Lot and his daughters, believing now that the entire world is being destroyed, find temporary sanctuary in a cave while the destruction around them continues.

Lot’s daughters sensed that the continuity of humanity was upon them, and, as Noach’s children were called upon to do after the Mabul, they must repopulate the land. Thinking that their father was the only remaining male in the world, they believed they had no choice, but to procreate with their father. They gave Lot wine, got him drunk, and cohabited with him. Those incestuous acts bore sons, and the future nations of Amon and Moav.

The Midrash¹ teaches that Hashem’s instruction to Lot, “Leave Sodom, you and your two daughters that are found there with you,” was a plea to Lot to save the future king of the Jewish nation, and ultimately Mashiach. David HaMelech, and thus Mashiach, would be a descendant of two converts, Rus, a Moabite, and Na’amah, an Amonite. The fore-bearers of these nations, Amon and Moav, were born of the unions between Lot and his daughters. Somehow, from the depths of destruction and sin will arise the future salvation of the Jewish People and the tikkun of the world. Lot and his family needed to be saved in order to effect the ultimate tikkun. 

Rabbeinu Bachya² points out that there is no detail in this story that is mere coincidence, as every detail teaches us many facets of understanding. Indeed this story has wide ramifications for the future of the Jewish people. 

I would like to zoom in on one of these details. Perhaps the smallest and seemingly most insignificant detail - a dot. 

When describing the actions of the daughters of Lot, the Torah says as follows.³

וַתֹּ֧אמֶר הַבְּכִירָ֛ה אֶל־הַצְּעִירָ֖ה אָבִ֣ינוּ זָקֵ֑ן וְאִ֨ישׁ אֵ֤ין בָּאָ֙רֶץ֙ לָב֣וֹא עָלֵ֔ינוּ כְּדֶ֖רֶךְ כׇּל־הָאָֽרֶץ׃
And the older one said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to consort with us in the way of all the world. 

לְכָ֨ה נַשְׁקֶ֧ה אֶת־אָבִ֛ינוּ יַ֖יִן וְנִשְׁכְּבָ֣ה עִמּ֑וֹ וּנְחַיֶּ֥ה מֵאָבִ֖ינוּ זָֽרַע׃. Come, let us make our father drink wine, and let us lie with him, that we may maintain life through our father.” 

וַתַּשְׁקֶ֧יןָ אֶת־אֲבִיהֶ֛ן יַ֖יִן בַּלַּ֣יְלָה ה֑וּא וַתָּבֹ֤א הַבְּכִירָה֙ וַתִּשְׁכַּ֣ב אֶת־אָבִ֔יהָ וְלֹֽא־יָדַ֥ע בְּשִׁכְבָ֖הּ וּבְקוּׄמָֽהּ׃ That night they made their father drink wine, and the older one went in and lay with her father; he did not know when she lay down or when she rose. 

וַֽיְהִי֙ מִֽמׇּחֳרָ֔ת וַתֹּ֤אמֶר הַבְּכִירָה֙ אֶל־הַצְּעִירָ֔ה הֵן־שָׁכַ֥בְתִּי אֶ֖מֶשׁ אֶת־אָבִ֑י נַשְׁקֶ֨נּוּ יַ֜יִן גַּם־הַלַּ֗יְלָה וּבֹ֙אִי֙ שִׁכְבִ֣י עִמּ֔וֹ וּנְחַיֶּ֥ה מֵאָבִ֖ינוּ זָֽרַע׃ The next day the older one said to the younger, “See, I lay with Father last night; let us make him drink wine tonight also, and you go and lie with him, that we may maintain life through our father.” 

וַתַּשְׁקֶ֜יןָ גַּ֣ם בַּלַּ֧יְלָה הַה֛וּא אֶת־אֲבִיהֶ֖ן יָ֑יִן וַתָּ֤קׇם הַצְּעִירָה֙ וַתִּשְׁכַּ֣ב עִמּ֔וֹ וְלֹֽא־יָדַ֥ע בְּשִׁכְבָ֖הּ וּבְקֻמָֽהּ׃ That night also they made their father drink wine, and the younger one went and lay with him; he did not know when she lay down or when she rose. 

וַֽתַּהֲרֶ֛יןָ שְׁתֵּ֥י בְנֽוֹת־ל֖וֹט מֵאֲבִיהֶֽן׃. Thus the two daughters of Lot became pregnant by their father.

If you notice when the Torah describes how Lot did not know about the actions of his daughters, by the oldest daughter, the Torah writes וְלֹֽא־יָדַ֥ע בְּשִׁכְבָ֖הּ וּבְקוּׄמָֽהּ׃ yet by the younger daughter it says וְלֹֽא־יָדַ֥ע בְּשִׁכְבָ֖הּ וּבְקֻמָֽהּ׃. By the oldest daughter, there is a dot on top of the vav of the ובקומה, by the younger daughter - there is no vav and no dot above it? 

Why is this so?

Rashi explains — This word where it occurs with reference to the elder sister⁴ has dots above it, implying that when she arose, he (Lot) was aware of it, and yet he did not take care on the second night to abstain from wine.⁵ R. Levi said, Whoever is inflamed by sexual desire will, in the end, be made to eat his own flesh.⁶

This Rashi is puzzling, for the passuk just said that Lot did not know - why is Rashi saying that he was aware of what had happened?

I saw a fascinating explanation from my sister's father-in-law Rav Chaim Walkin Zt’l who passed away this past week. 

[There is] a basic rule in human behavior and the workings of the Nefesh... For each and every action a person does there is a hidden underlying inner reason driving that action. That inner spark is the true driving force which is in the background of this person’s superficial actions. 

With this insight we can explain Rashi

The compelling explanation is that truthfully Lot did not know anything about what he did since he was drunk. However, when his behavior is carefully analyzed to its core – we can say that had he paid attention to the murmurings of his spiritual heart and his inner spiritual feelings, he should have understood that something was not right in what he was about to do, and he should not have drunk any wine on that second night.

 Therefore although in the reality of what happened Lot did not consciously know what he did when the older sister “got up,” in the innermost feelings of his soul it is considered as though in fact he did know what he did and what he was about to repeat, and he chose to push aside and ignore those inner feelings.

[we learn from this that] the true core hidden within the source of a person is the force that drives the way he acts and the direction he takes. 

Perhaps this is the message of the dot above the vav, to tell us that even if it was only a speck of his consciousness and he didn’t really know what happened. He should have zoomed in on that speck and come to the realization of his incestuous acts, and taken measures to ensure it does not repeat itself. 

Rav Walkin learns from this a monumental lesson:⁷

The obligation is incumbent on us to work to direct the hidden- core-desires within us that drive our actions to achieve a good and appropriate goal, as the source of our actions is driven by the hidden-core-desires within us; that inner desire is what truly dictates everything we do. If that inner source is proper and correct, then the outcome of our superficial actions will be honest \ straight and will be accepted by our Father in Heaven.

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May this Dvar Torah be an ilui neshama for Rav Chaim ben Rav Shmuel Dovid Zt’l and may his family be comforted.

1. Bereishis Rabbah 41

2. Bereishis 19:30

3. Bereishis 19: 31-36

4. Bereishis 19:33

5. Horayot 10b

6. Bereishis Rabbah 51:9

7. Daas Chaim - Maamar 33