Alone, In Search of Truth

A thought on Parashas Vayishlach

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When we think of Yaakov Avinu, what comes to mind is a man who is greater than we can ever imagine. He was blessed with a large family of tribes, abundant wealth and a high spiritual stature. We think of his struggles with his brother Esav, his father-in-law Lavan, the loss of Rachel and the saga of Yosef. When we think of Yaakov, we do not think of his loneliness. Yet, we find over and over again that Yaakov was alone. 

Yaakov studied for 14 years in Yeshiva of Shem and Ever, he then ran to Charan, all alone, bereft of even his clothing. It was there that he met Rachel and her family. Finally after 2 decades with Lavan, he makes his way back to Canaan and through a strange set of circumstances finds himself once more alone and in an epic battle with the Angel of Esav.

What is the significance of being alone, by himself?

To answer that, we need to explore another question. Why is Yaakov called emes, as Micha¹ says תתן אמת ליעקב, when we find that perhaps the one trait that Yaakov struggled with the most was the middah of emes? Yaakov deceptively appeared as Esav in order to get the berachos from Yitzchak. Yaakov had to put up with the lies and torment of his father-in-law, Lavan. Later, we find that the Shevatim lied to Yaakov about the whereabouts of Yosef. Shimon and Levi wiped out Shechem by ruse. It seems as though wherever Yaakov went he had to struggle with the middah of emes. What made Yaakov the man of truth? 

Rav Chaim Walkin taught²  in the name of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz that being alone should not to be considered a negative trait, to the contrary it was the zenith of spiritual attainment. In fact, Hashem too is called alone, ³ונשגב ה’ לבדו.

To be alone, Levado, is to not be influenced or have any fear from ones surroundings. One who is always striving to reach higher, is called Levado, alone. You can be in a crowd, but you are alone, as only you are you, and only you alone can attain spiritual heights. 

Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky writes⁴ that the reason Yaakov Avinu was attacked when he was alone is because most human beings are unable to maintain their spiritual level and stature when they are alone. Most people need a support system, a society, a ‘chevra’ to keep them on the straight and narrow path of righteous behavior. To go it all alone, without peer pressure and peer support, without losing one’s ‘level’ (madreigah) is a phenomenon which is extremely difficult for the average person to attain.

When Yaakov had the dream of the ladder, he was all alone. In the dream Hashem told him, you are not alone, for I am with you. The ladder represents the climb that one must to do to become more spiritually whole. When Yaakov was left alone across the Yaabok river, he was left fighting his innermost fears, that which haunted him since he was in the womb with his brother Esav. This too Yaakov was able to break-through to reach ever higher. 

Rav Yitzchak Hutner in a letter to a student struggling with different challenges writes:⁵  

“It is a terrible problem that when we discuss the greatness of our Gedolim, we actually deal only with the end of their stories. We tell about their perfection, but we omit any mention of the inner battles which raged in their souls. The impression one gets is that they were created with their full stature.

For example, everyone is impressed by the purity of the Chafetz Chaim’s speech. However, who knows about all the wars, the battles, the impediments, the downfalls, and the retreats that the Chafetz Chaim experienced in his fight with the evil inclination?!

Know my friend, that the key for your soul is not the tranquility of the yetzer hatov, but the war against the yetzer hara. Your letter testifies that you are a faithful warrior in the army of the yetzer hatov. There is a saying in English, “Lose the battle and win the war.” You surely have stumbled and will stumble again, and you will be vanquished in many battles. However, I promise you that after you have lost those battles, you will emerge from the war with a victor’s wreath on your head.

Every single person has their own inner world, with their own struggles and challenges. Rav Tzadok of Lublin taught⁶ that when one is most challenged, it is an indication as to his tikkun which is meant to be achieved in this world. Yaakov was constantly challenged with the middah of emes, as this was his tikkun to the world. When he successfully got through all the barriers, he is called an Ish Emes. Emes means that when you are all alone, you do what is right. Emes is to be true to oneself as one is true to others. 

The middah of emes is intertwined with the loneliness of Yaakov, as only when he was alone was he able to truly be himself - an Ish Emes.  This in turn was the impetus for his renaming to Yisrael. 

As Rav Chanoch Waxman writes: 

He will no longer be Yaakov, bent like the heel he once grasped, the one who garnered blessings by latching on to others, by the means of deals and tricks. He will no longer be known as the one Esav justly accused. Rather, he will be Yisrael, he who has struggled in so many ways and proven able. He will be known as Yisrael, a man whose blessedness stems from his struggles.

In his magnificent book The Tree of Life and Prosperity, Michael Eisenberg makes a startling observation. 

When Yaakov begged Esav to accept his presents, he began with the word “gift” and concluded with the word “blessing”.

וַיֹּ֣אמֶר יַעֲקֹ֗ב אַל־נָא֙ אִם־נָ֨א מָצָ֤אתִי חֵן֙ בְּעֵינֶ֔יךָ וְלָקַחְתָּ֥ מִנְחָתִ֖י מִיָּדִ֑י כִּ֣י עַל־כֵּ֞ן רָאִ֣יתִי פָנֶ֗יךָ כִּרְאֹ֛ת פְּנֵ֥י אֱלֹהִ֖ים וַתִּרְצֵֽנִי׃ 

But Jacob said, “No, I pray you; if you would do me this favor, accept from me this gift; for to see your face is like seeing the face of God, and you have received me favorably. 

קַח־נָ֤א אֶת־בִּרְכָתִי֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר הֻבָ֣את לָ֔ךְ כִּֽי־חַנַּ֥נִי אֱלֹהִ֖ים וְכִ֣י יֶשׁ־לִי־כֹ֑ל וַיִּפְצַר־בּ֖וֹ וַיִּקָּֽח׃ 

Please accept my blessing which has been brought to you, for God has favored me and I have plenty.” And when he urged him, he accepted.

He explains that this recalls the events of twenty years earlier when Yaakov impersonated Esav and took the berachos. Now Yaakov is giving back the wealth he managed to obtain in Charan to Esav as well as the “blessing” which he took from him. 

We find after parting ways with Esav, Yaakov settles in Sukkos and rebuilds his wealth on his own. When Yaakov later came to Shechem, he was shalem, he had his wealth and his prestige and he had his eternal middah of emes and shalom. It was with this attitude that he settled in Shechem hoping to cultivate a society based on emes and shalom. However, this was not to last long. With the abduction of Dinah, Shimon and Levi wiped out the city.

Eisenberg writes 

“ Jacob’s sons were born and raised in the prickly business environment of Haran. Their manner of speech and mode of thinking was wired to be manipulative. They began their speech deviously and capped it off with a threat. They did not understand the dramatic change undertaken by their father when he gave away a significant part of his assets to Esau and subsequently tarried in Succoth to rebuild his wealth on the basis of a new and different value system. When Jacob called out in the name of God in Shechem, they heard the call of war, not the the clarion call to seek closeness to Him.”

“Jacob, who advocated honesty and economic cooperation as he entered the land, felt that his own sons had turned on him. While it is true that Jacob betrayed Laban’s confidence when he escaped from Haran in the middle of the night he also rebuilt his wealth from scratch on better values before he entered the land of Israel, perhaps even on account of his experiences with Laban. In effect, he had "repented" and sought to  build a better ethical and economic foundation for a new people--the people of Israel-in an old land.

The sons of Jacob, however, were not interested in cooperative efforts. As soon as they encountered their first setback, they took the extreme step of deceiving the leaders of Shechem and completely betrayed their trust. They destroyed and plundered the city and earned the disgraceful distinction of becoming a band of lawless nomads. For the next several years, until they descended to Egypt, the sons of Jacob remained transient shepherds. They did not establish themselves as settlers in the land; they were always on the move.

Their act was a fatal blow to Jacob's vision of a successful society predicated on mutually beneficial trust. He dreamt of commercial relationships that connected the two peoples while also respecting their cultural differences. Despite the heinous crime that Shechem had perpetrated, Jacob understood that physical strength was not the way to build a healthy society in the land of Israel. Strength and resilience were essential but not exclusive. Trust, economic cooperation, and integrity are the critical building blocks of society. Other people (even adversaries) cannot be allowed to dictate (or tarnish) the norms on which that society is based. Jacob's only hesitation was whether it was indeed possible to build such a society in a place like Shechem, given the violent behavior of the prince.

Ultimately, Jacob fled from Shechem to Bethel. From that point on, he would have no further interaction with the inhabitants of the land. He had attempted to set in motion a process based on his own bitter life experiences. He wanted to begin building a people in its land. He envisioned a healthy society, based on a strong ethic of socioeconomic trust that would benefit all inhabitants, but his sons ruined everything, and in the end, he cursed them for it.”

The middah of emes may have been lost to Shimon and Levi, but this is a middah that Yaakov inculcated into the very being and essence of Klal Yisrael. When all is said and done, we have the potential of reaching emes. 

On Motzei Shabbos, there is a minhag to sing the zemer, Amer Hashem L’Yaakov. The zemer has many stanzas in the order of the Alef- Beis - each one ending with the words Al Tira Avdi Yaakov. 

אָמַר ה’ לְיַעֲקֹב, אַל תִּירָא עַבְדִּי יַעֲקֹב 

Hashem said to Yaakov  - fear not, my servant Yaakov.

בָּחַר ה’ בְּיַעֲקֹב, אַל תִּירָא עַבְדִּי יַעֲקֹב: 

Hashem chose Yaakov  - fear not, my servant Yaakov.

גָּאַל ה’ אֶת יַעֲקֹב, אַל תִּירָא עַבְדִּי יַעֲקֹב: 

Hashem will redeem Yaakov  - fear not, my servant Yaakov.

דָּרַךְ כּוֹכָב מִיַּעֲקֹב, אַל תִּירָא עַבְדִּי יַעֲקֹב: 

A star will emerge from Yaakov  - fear not, my servant Yaakov.

……

מִי מָנָה עֲפַר יַעֲקֹב., אַל תִּירָא עַבְדִּי יַעֲקֹב: 

Who can count the dust of Yaakov  - fear not, my servant Yaakov.

נִשְׁבַּע יְהֹוָה לְיַעֲקֹב, אַל תִּירָא עַבְדִּי יַעֲקֹב: 

Hashem swore to Yaakov  - fear not, my servant Yaakov.

……

שָׁב יְהֹוָה אֶת שְׁבוּת יַעֲקֹב, אַל תִּירָא עַבְדִּי יַעֲקֹב: 

Hashem will return the grandeur of Yaakov  - fear not, my servant Yaakov.

תִּתֵּן אֱמֶת לְיַעֲקֹב, אַל תִּירָא עַבְדִּי יַעֲקֹב:

You will grant truth to Yaakov  - fear not, my servant Yaakov.

Rav Moshe Leib of Pashkan taught⁷ in the name of the Ruzhiner that Hashem said to Yaakov, Al Tira Avdi Yaakov - do not be afraid. But Yaakov was still afraid. He then said Bacher Hashem BYaakov, but he was still afraid. This went on until He got to Titen Emes L’Yaakov and Yaakov was no longer afraid. He explains that emes is the seal of Hashem. If Hashem is signing on this, there is truly no reason to be afraid. 

The lives of the Avos parallel the destiny of Klal Yisrael. Yaakov’s challenges represent the history of Klal Yisrael’s challenges and the challenges of each and every Jew.

Let us learn from Yaakov that even when we are alone, when we feel so submerged in our own personal challenges, if we stick to our truth - we will prevail. 

When we become true like Yaakov, we will merit the blessings of the Haftara of the vanishing of our nemesis Esav and all he stands for. At that time we will have true tranquility. 

1. Micha 7;20

2. Daas Chaim UMussar - Vayishlach

3. Yeshayahu chapter 2

4. Emes L’Yaakov, 32:19

5. Pachad Yitzchak: Igrot U’ketavim 128

6. Tzidkas HaTzaddik 49

7. Birchas Moshe - Likutim