#askingforafriend
A thought for Parashas VaYigash
It’s been a hard week for the Jewish people. Although there have been some amazing things happening, it can be hard to see the light amidst the thick fog and haze.
In response to these trying times, many within our community have actively engaged in efforts to support others, yet we've often neglected our own well-being. Each of us, as individuals, is grappling with our own hardships, enduring trauma that, in many ways, is still ongoing. We remain steadfast in our belief that these challenges won't defeat us. Our history as a people—both collectively and individually—speaks of resilience. But the question arises: how do we lift ourselves when we're enshrouded in such a dense, heavy fog?
Perhaps the answer can be found in this week’s Parsha.
As we know Yosef is favored by his father, Yaacov. His brothers all envy him and plot to kill him. Eventually, they throw him in a pit, from where he is extracted and sold to slavery.
In Egypt, Yosef climbs the ranks due to his ability to analyze dreams and he becomes the second in command to Pharaoh.
Many years later, there is a famine in the land of Israel, and his brothers have to go to Egypt to get food, where Yosef is responsible for distributing that food.
When the brothers come to Yosef, he immediately recognizes them, but they do not recognize him as he was dressed in Egyptian garb. Being that he was a senior Egyptian official, something that prevented them from even suspecting that he could be their brother. It was too wild of a scenario for them to even imagine.
Yosef seems to have an entire plan in place, a plan that on the surface seems like Yosef is trying to get revenge for what they did to him. At first, he takes one of the brothers, Shimon, hostage and demands that they bring Binyamin, the youngest brother, down to Egypt if he was to release Shimon.
The brothers understood that their father Yaacov, after having lost his favorite son, Yosef, or so he thought, would be extremely reluctant to send Binyamin down to Egypt.
The brothers sought to persuade Yaacov to permit Binyamin to journey to Egypt, Yaacov initially refused, as he shared a unique connection with Binyamin - נפשו קשורה בנפשו (his soul was tied to his soul). It was Yehuda who, standing out from his siblings, took responsibility, promising Yaacov that he would ensure Binyamin's safety. Upon hearing this, Yaacov relented.
But Yosef had other plans. They come down with Binyamin. Yosef plants his silver cup in Binyamin’s bag, and when that is discovered, Yosef tells the brothers that he has to put Binyamin in prison.
Among all the brothers, it was Yehuda who stepped forward, pleading with this Egyptian ruler, unaware that he was actually his brother, to spare Binyamin.
Yehuda felt as though he was navigating through a dense fog. Here he was, attempting to procure sustenance for his family, and yet, he found himself entangled in bureaucracy and at the mercy of an official who appeared malevolent and was set to complicate his life drastically. What would he say to his father now? More crucially, how could he persuade Yosef to free Binyamin?
To understand this, we must backtrack a little to understand why Yaacov agreed to Yehuda and not to Reuven or the other brothers. Why was Yehuda of all the brothers the one to jump to Binyamin’s defense?
Yehuda symbolizes Malchus, with King David being a descendant of Yehuda. To be a Jewish king means assuming responsibility for both the spiritual and physical wellbeing of the people. His heart symbolizes the heart of the Jewish nation.1
Consequently, when Reuven approached Yaacov about taking Binyamin to Egypt, Yaacov did not consent. However, when Yehuda offered, emphasizing his trait of responsibility, Yaacov felt compelled to agree, recognizing the depth of Yehuda's commitment.
This sense of responsibility or Areivus led Yehuda to risk not only his earthly position, but also his standing in the world to come.2
Yehuda had to quickly work out a strategy to get Yosef to change his mind.
His initial approach focused on their father Yaacov. At 130 years old, Yaacov was not young. Yehuda implored Yosef, emphasizing the criticality of the situation: Yosef had insisted on seeing Binyamin, but now, Yehuda urged him to contemplate the devastating effect on their father if they returned without Binyamin. Yaacov had already endured the loss of one cherished son; the thought of losing another could be fatal.
When this argument did not sway Yosef, Yehuda shifted his approach. It was no longer about the implications for himself or their father. Now, Yehuda, the very brother who had a hand in selling Yosef into slavery, made a bold offer. He proposed to take Binyamin's place, stating, "I took personal responsibility for Binyamin; let me be his substitute." Yehuda was willing to sacrifice his own freedom rather than see Binyamin enslaved.
These words were what ultimately touched Yosef's heart. Overwhelmed by emotion, Yosef ordered all his attendants out, then turned to his brothers and revealed his true identity.
Areivus, or responsibility, carries significant halachic and philosophical weight within Judaism. The Talmud famously teaches Kol Yisrael Arevim Zeh LeZeh, meaning all Jews are responsible for one another.3 This principle allows for one to have kavana on behalf of someone else when reciting a Bracha.4
When Yehuda addressed Yosef with the words כי עבדך ערב את הנער, he was asserting more than personal accountability. He was embodying the collective responsibility of all his brothers, essentially uniting them as one. As a figure of kingly stature, Yehuda positioned himself not merely as an individual among siblings, but as a guarantor representing them all. He acknowledged Yosef's authority, paralleling it to Pharaoh's, thus elevating their conversation to a dialogue between two leaders, king to king.
Rav Yaacov Shapira emphasizes that the term VaYigash, used to describe Yehuda's approach to Yosef, signifies more than just a physical movement. While its literal interpretation might suggest that he simply took a few steps forward, its deeper meaning reflects the manner in which Yehuda confronted every aspect of his life. VaYigash is about the גישה, the approach or attitude one adopts.
In his encounter with Yosef, Yehuda didn't just represent himself; he approached as a king, embodying the collective spirit and responsibility of all the brothers. His heart mirrored the heart of all Israel, bearing the weight of the guarantee he had made to Yaacov, their father. This strategic approach, this גישה, was the essence of Yehuda's interaction with Yosef. Rav Shapira suggests that taking responsibility for something specific not only reveals but also strengthens and develops the positive aspects within a person. Consequently, it was this sense of responsibility and the manner of approach that gave weight to Yehuda's words and ultimately influenced Yosef.5
Rav Shlomo of Radomsk, in his Tiferes Shlomo, expands on this concept, applying it broadly to all individuals. He says that the Torah is teaching us the proper way to pray to Hashem. When standing in prayer before God, one should approach from a position of humility, setting aside ego and feeling unworthy of having prayers answered. The Radomsker then raises a question: given this mindset, how can one confidently pray to God?
He explains that the Torah provides a solution: each member of Klal Yisrael should pray on behalf of their friends. This approach allows one to step forward in prayer more easily. Just as a person might struggle to accept charity for themselves out of shame but would willingly accept it on behalf of a friend, or might hesitate to ask a question directly but would do so for a 'friend', the same principle applies in prayer. When asking for mercy and blessings for a friend, there's no embarrassment in the request.
Every single Jew is an Arev, a guarantor for one another and thus should pray on behalf of fellow Jews.
Yehuda exemplified this principle in his interaction with Yosef. He shifted the focus from himself to Binyamin. By advocating on behalf of Binyamin, Yehuda effectively turned the tables, embodying the essence of intercessory prayer and communal responsibility.
Even amidst a heavy fog, where the light seems obscured by darkness, we can still draw inspiration from Yehuda's example and pray for one another.
By championing another's cause, we elevate not only them but also ourselves. May all our prayers be answered, and may the clouds of fog soon disperse to unveil the radiance of enduring peace.
Rambam Melachim 3:6
Rav Moshe David Valli Bereishis 44;18 & 44;32
Shavuos 39a
Rashi - Rosh Hashana 29a. See also Bava Basra 173b