Enemies and Haters
The connection between Rosh Chodesh and Parashas Toldos
Today is Rosh Chodesh Kislev. In the mussaf of Rosh Chodesh we say the following
:רָאשֵׁי חֳדָשִׁים לְעַמְּךָ נָתָתָּ. זְמַן כַּפָּרָה לְכָל תּולְדותָם. בִּהְיותָם מַקְרִיבִים לְפָנֶיךָ זִבְחֵי רָצון. וּשעִירֵי חַטָּאת לְכַפֵּר בַּעֲדָם. זִכָּרון לְכֻלָּם יִהְיוּ. וּתְשׁוּעַת נַפְשָׁם מִיַּד שונֵא.
You have given Your people New Moons, a time of atonement for all their offspring, when they would bring before You offerings for favor and goats of sin-offering to atone on their behalf. They would serve as a remembrance for them all as a salvation for their soul from the hands of those who hate them.
The Meforshim1 explain that the words שונֵא, hater is referring to our yetzer hara.
Rav Moshe Shapiro2 explains that we bring a kapara for the fact that the moon was made smaller. When the moon became smaller, darkness and night were introduced to the world. This is a time of hiddenness and confusion. This is also the time that ra, evil, was created. The korban is to atone for the existence of evil in this world.
Rosh Chodesh is a time of the rebirth of the moon, when the moon can now grow and expand until it is at the same glory it was at when it was created.
We see that Rosh Chodesh is a time when we will have a salvation from the hater, aka the yetzer hara and all evil along with it.
The Gemara in Sukka3 teaches that there are seven names for the yetzer hara. Why are we specifically focusing on the term שונֵא on Rosh Chodesh more than any other term?
In Parshas Chayei Sara when Rivka is leaving to go with Eliezer, we find that her brothers give her a berachah
וַיְבָרְכ֤וּ אֶת־רִבְקָה֙ וַיֹּ֣אמְרוּ לָ֔הּ אֲחֹתֵ֕נוּ אַ֥תְּ הֲיִ֖י לְאַלְפֵ֣י רְבָבָ֑ה וְיִירַ֣שׁ זַרְעֵ֔ךְ אֵ֖ת שַׁ֥עַר שֹׂנְאָֽיו׃
And they blessed Rebekah and said to her,
“O sister!
May you grow
Into thousands of myriads;
May your descendants seize
The gates of their foes.”
If you contrast this with the berachah that Hashem gave Avraham after the Akeida
וַיִּקְרָ֛א מַלְאַ֥ךְ ה’ אֶל־אַבְרָהָ֑ם שֵׁנִ֖ית מִן־הַשָּׁמָֽיִם׃
The messenger of Hashem called to Abraham a second time from heaven,
וַיֹּ֕אמֶר בִּ֥י נִשְׁבַּ֖עְתִּי נְאֻם־ה’ כִּ֗י יַ֚עַן אֲשֶׁ֤ר עָשִׂ֙יתָ֙ אֶת־הַדָּבָ֣ר הַזֶּ֔ה וְלֹ֥א חָשַׂ֖כְתָּ אֶת־בִּנְךָ֥ אֶת־יְחִידֶֽךָ׃
and said, “By Myself I swear, Hashem declares: Because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your favored one,
כִּֽי־בָרֵ֣ךְ אֲבָרֶכְךָ֗ וְהַרְבָּ֨ה אַרְבֶּ֤ה אֶֽת־זַרְעֲךָ֙ כְּכוֹכְבֵ֣י הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וְכַח֕וֹל אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־שְׂפַ֣ת הַיָּ֑ם וְיִרַ֣שׁ זַרְעֲךָ֔ אֵ֖ת שַׁ֥עַר אֹיְבָֽיו׃
I will bestow My blessing upon you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars of heaven and the sands on the seashore; and your descendants shall seize the gates of their foes.
While Sefaria may use the same term ‘foes’, we see the Torah uses the word שֹׂנְאָֽיו׃ by Rivka and אֹיְבָֽיו׃ by Avraham.
What is the difference and what does all this have to do with Parashas Toldos?
When we think of the word enemy or hater, we usually lump them together as one. Both are people that we would be better off having nothing to do with. Rav Moshe explains that in fact these are two completely different forms of people that we do not like. An oyev, enemy, is someone whom I cannot live with, however when they are distanced from us and are out of sight, they are no longer grating on us and all is fine. Enemies are not pursuers.
A soneh, hater, is someone who simply cannot bear my very existence. He will pursue me across the planet in order to obliterate my existence.
Similarly we say on Rosh Hashanah
יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלִּפְנֵי אָבִינוּ שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, שֶׁיִּסְתַּלְּקוּ אוֹיְבֵינוּ וּמַשְׂטִינֵנוּ.
May our enemies and prosecutors be removed.
We also say
יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלִּפְנֵי אָבִינוּ שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, שֶׁיִּכָּרְתוּ שׂוֹנְאֵינוּ.
May those who hate us be decimated.
When we refer to the Yetzer Hara as a soneh, we are referring to an entity that cannot stand the existence of good in this world.
Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai taught the halacha4 that ‘Esav Soneh es Yaakov’, Esav hates Yaakov. This is not just for Esav himself, but is true of his descendants as well. We find the archetypical hater of Klal Yisrael, Amalek, descendants of Esav, traveled a great distance to fight us. They simply could not bear the thought that Yaakov would still exist in this world. If we were to look at the political landscape of today, we would be quick to point out which nations are the haters and which nations are the enemies. However, Rabbeinu Bachya teaches that the soneh is Edom, Esav and the oyev is Yishmael, so it is not so clear cut who is who.
Yitzchak was going to give the berachos to Esav as he understood that the berachah from the Akeida was to defeat the enemies. Therefore he reasoned the berachah was intended for Esav who was the hater, not an enemy. Rivka, however, knew that the berachah was to defeat the haters, she knew that the bracha could not go to Esav and had to go to Yaakov.
Essentially, one who hates cannot remain standing when the other is standing. The existence of one leads to the downfall of the other.
In Megillas Esther we find:
וּשְׁאָ֣ר הַיְּהוּדִ֡ים אֲשֶׁר֩ בִּמְדִינ֨וֹת הַמֶּ֜לֶךְ נִקְהֲל֣וּ ׀ וְעָמֹ֣ד עַל־נַפְשָׁ֗ם וְנ֙וֹחַ֙ מֵאֹ֣יְבֵיהֶ֔ם וְהָרוֹג֙ בְּשֹׂ֣נְאֵיהֶ֔ם חֲמִשָּׁ֥ה וְשִׁבְעִ֖ים אָ֑לֶף וּבַ֨בִּזָּ֔ה לֹ֥א שָֽׁלְח֖וּ אֶת־יָדָֽם׃
The rest of the Jews, those in the king’s provinces, likewise mustered and fought for their lives. They disposed of their enemies, killing seventy-five thousand of their foes; but they did not lay hands on the spoil.
Again Sefaria does not differentiate between oyev and soneh, but now we already know the difference.
We daven on Rosh Chodesh that this month should be the month when the moon has a cycle which keeps on going. That it should not get smaller because when the light of the moon will be like the light of the sun, it will be as it was created. The beginning of the month is the beginning of the process of our getting back up, and therefore the downfall of ra, evil.
The concept and halacha that ‘Esav hates Yaakov’, means that the tafkid of Esav is to be a soneh to Yaakov, to pursue him and to be a thorn in his side. This is not just a physical pursual, but it has a spiritual dimension as well.
When the nations of the world attack us in any way, whether it is as a people, our way of life, or try to bring us down spiritually, we must stand firm and be stubborn not to let them get us down. By doing this, we will rise up eternally just like how the moon will be as big as it was intended to be and all evil will be eradicated from this world.
May we merit that great day soon.
Avudraham
Shuvi V’Nechzeh - Toldos. This essay is based on this maamar.
Sukka 52a
Sifri 69