Musical Bones
How to Move Forward When You're Feeling Stuck
Two weeks ago, I along with hundreds of friends, neighbors and relatives gathered together to escort our friend Yosef Newman Zt’l to his final resting place, after a relentless battle with cancer. It was hard to put the feelings into words and processing how to move forward from his loss. At his hesped, my rebbe, Rav Gerzi got up and began to sing Yedid Nefesh. Everyone who was gathered there joined in, with tears streaming down our faces as we sang that which our words could not express. It was truly a moving moment, and it took me some time to realize just how impactful it was.
The parashah begins by telling us that the Bnei Yisrael were directed by Hashem to leave Mitzrayim and travel a roundabout way through the desert to the promised land, instead of the shortest route through the land of the Plishtim, which would have taken approximately ten days1. This was because Hashem feared that the Bnei Yisrael may turn back to Mitzrayim if they encountered a war that they were not used to. The parashah then goes on to tell us that Moshe took the bones of Yosef with him at this time.
The connection between these two events is not clear. Why are the bones of Yosef mentioned in conjunction with the decision on how to leave Mitzrayim?
The Izhbitzer in his classic Mei Hashiloach2 explains that when Moshe saw that Hashem did not lead the Bnei Yisrael out via the direct route of Eretz HaPlishtim, he realized that there was more to be done to completely sever their connection to Mitzrayim. Moshe understood that there are times when Hashem hides His actions and conceals His intentions from mankind. If one sees that Hashem is dealing with him in a hidden, inscrutable way, then he is advised not to be too clever, but should rather perform the mitzvot with simplicity and intensify his fear of Hashem.
The Izhbitzer continues on to explain that Moshe in his humility accepted that the incompleteness of the Bnei Yisrael, as shown by their desire to return to Egypt, might actually be a deficiency in himself. This is why the next passuk tells us that, Moshe took the bones of Yosef with him
The act of taking Yosef’s bones is related to the acceptance of this deficiency. When Moshe realized that the Bnei Yisrael's incompleteness was due to his own lacking, he increased his fear of Hashem. This is referenced with the bones of Yosef, as the main characteristic of Yosef Hatzaddik was his fear of Hashem, amidst the difficulties he was facing, and this inspired Moshe to use this opportunity as a time for growth.
In life, we often encounter detours, just as the Bnei Yisrael did in leaving Mitzrayim. These detours are part of Hashem’s plan for the growth and development of the Jewish people on a large scale and for our own personal growth on a smaller scale.
When we find ourselves stuck in a situation, we can either go back to where we were or reflect on why we are stuck and use it as a catalyst to move forward in the right direction.
This idea is echoed in a similar language by Rav Yeruchem Levovitz3. He writes that everyone is where they are for a reason, to fulfill your purpose in that moment. Don't try to escape your current situation, because each situation is unique and serves its own purpose. Embrace it and find your growth and improvement within it.
Or as Mark Manson writes: “Because pain is the universal constant of life, the opportunities to grow from that pain are constant in life. All that is required is that we don’t numb it, that we don’t look away. All that is required is that we engage it and find the value and meaning in it.”4
Navigating the complexities of life may require making turns and finding new routes, but breakthroughs can come unexpectedly and perhaps miraculously. Once such a miracle occurs and one is able to move forward, they can then sing a shirah.
Rav Reuven Sasson5 explains this beautifully. When we look at the two shiros in the Chumash, we find that shirah is defined in our parashah as something that will happen in the future, and the shirah of Haazinu is a summation of the history of the Jewish people. A shirah is when you see something from the beginning to the end. A song is composed of phrases, words, and letters, and what connects the letters to form words are the vowels, or "Nekudot", and what connects the words to create phrases are the musical notes, or "Te'amim."
When someone is struggling, it's like a Hebrew letter without vowels or musical notes. They're stuck, unable to see what was or what will be. But when they start to see the past and future clearly, they have the Te'amim that carry them forward, turning their struggles into a sentence, a poem, and even a full song.
The tune elevates them from the present moment into a larger symphony. Rav Sasson explains that everything that happens is for the good, as evidenced by the "Te'amim," or reasons. When you understand the reasons behind things, it all becomes a song.
When you see the bigger picture, it is easier, but during challenges, you need to remember to sing the niggun to move forward. You need to keep the bigger picture in mind and infuse your life with shirah, which involves looking towards the future and seeing the past in that light, leading to a burst of song.
According to Rav Moshe Dovid Vali6, music, especially shirah, has the ability to capture the essence of a person and evoke deep emotions by touching the depths of the heart. Music brings people together and creates a harmonious balance in life, lifting one up during tough times and promoting growth. When words fail, shirah remains a source of comfort and expression.
May we merit to move forward with shirah so that we can sing the Shir Chadash of Moshaich.
Ibn Ezra
Vol. 1 - Beshalach
Daas Torah, Beshalach pg. 128 & 139
Likutim, Taamei HaMikra v’HaShir pg 344